Enneagram Book

Recently a reader of EnneagramBook sent me her thoughts on the post about Being a Watcher or a Doer and had a response that was certainly worthy of being published.  I’d really like to thank her for her response, and it’s published here with her gracious permission.

“Brad,

Boy oh boy…am I a “2″.  Big time.

I have 2 sons and a relationship of 9 years just ended for me.  We were living together and he moved out this weekend.  And you know what?  I’m STILL trying to take care of him.  I’m making lists for him on what he needs to get at the store for his kitchen and bathroom, telling him what type of fabric softener he needs to buy so it won’t irritate his skin, etc…

He came over on Wednesday to pick up some more stuff…and I fed him dinner.

And regarding the Watchers and Doers - one point that came to mind - Doers CREATE Watchers.  It is because we “do” that they “watch”.  For me it seems me being a “2″ automatically makes me a Doer, and I have most definitely created my Watchers…both at home and at work.

I ask for help from my sons at home.  Of course, there is resistance; and if I don’t firmly insist (which is very difficult for me to do), I get no help.  Then, if I do insist…they don’t do it right, and I re-do it; so they back away and “watch”.  It was the same with my former significant other.  I take care of everyone and everything.

I feel as if I’m supposed to be “Superwoman”.  My mother definitely was and is.  We are very much alike.  The difference between us is she was a stay-at-home mom.  She worked outside the home a few times off and on, but only because she wanted to…she never had to.  BUT…I feel as if I still have to measure up to what I have created in my mind as the ideal standard, which is my mother.

I was raised to be a “Doer”.

I have a very difficult time taking time off from work.  It seems invariably if I’m out sick or just take some days off, I get phone calls on so many things.  The office falls apart without me.  It frustrates me, but on some level…I get some kind of gratification from it.

Another observation I have made within my circumstances, everyone in my household is male (including the dog), and I am in an office of 5 men - again, the only female.  Coincidence?

I understand there is much more depth to Watchers and Doers - more layers.  This is just what immediately came to mind within my circumstances.  And you, being the Watcher you are…you have let me ramble on, taking it all in…”

What do you readers think of this?  Have you had similar experiences?  Please let me know in the comments section below…

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